Going to Greencoachdawg's Redneck Church

[oldphart]

~~~Went to Greencoachdawg's Church, and thet seem they hasd a problem, the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

 

And when Greencoachdawg learn that Jesus fed the 5000, he wanted to know, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

 

When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

 

And did you know... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

 

Another member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

 

Their choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

 

There is over 500 members in the congregation , Strange since there's are only seven last names in the church directory.

 

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

 

Also the high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

 

I asked Greencoachdawg what "rapture" is, and he said it happens when you lift something too heavy.

 

I thought it was quaint that the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

 

He told me that the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

 

He donated the collection plates from his '56 Chevy hub caps

 

They don't have a Bell, you are called to service by a duck call

 

Funny seeing the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

 

Had some of the communion wine, it's Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

 

One of the Commanments "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

 

And as I was leaving I hear Greencoachdawg give the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now Ya Hear!"

Edited May 14, 2008 by oldphart

[danbo]

YeeHawwww!

[danbo]

If'n ya don't go te Church..the Devil'll getcha!!

 

[Greencoachdog]

[LeXXington]

hahahah thats too funny Glen

[Greencoachdog]

 

Oldpharts computer issues!

[Greencoachdog]

Maxine tells it like it is aboot Oldphart!

 

[fish_finder]

 

da da ding ding ding ding ding!

Edited May 15, 2008 by fish_finder

[oldphart]

~~~~The War between the us Northerners and you Yankee Rebs, has just re-begun again, "Nanuk get my Dog sled ready were goan pharten, down South"

[Greencoachdog]

~~~~The War between the us Northerners and you Yankee Rebs, has just re-begun again, "Nanuk get my Dog sled ready were goan pharten, down South"

 

 

You may wanna hold off on any Southern trips 'til 'round November ya Ol' Stinker, it's gettin' hotter'n a blistered bugs butt on a burnin' boulder down here!... I'd hate to have to pick you up with the shop vac and ship you back up yonder in 5 gallon white buckets!

 

When you do decide to strike out down South, howza bout puttin' on a pair of corduroy britches before ya leave... so's I can have aboot a 6 hr. notice to round up and agitate the guard 'Possums!!!

[blaque]

 

da da ding ding ding ding ding!

 

You forgot 2 dings.