Beans Posted January 31, 2008 Report Share Posted January 31, 2008 It's been a while since we had any so I thought I would pass this on: The Godfather, the Bookkeeper & the Lawyer: A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer "Ask him where the ten million bucks he embezzled from me is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!" The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger." Now that's a lawyer for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foggy Posted January 31, 2008 Report Share Posted January 31, 2008 i laughed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfield Posted January 31, 2008 Report Share Posted January 31, 2008 Kirk.... where you goin with that shovel bud ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 I don't see the humour, lawyers just following protocol (an oldie but a goodie) Heres another one: Lawyer hands orphanage a bill for 100.00 Nun gives lawyer 100 bill, lawyer finds out later there were 2 100 bills stuck together Ethical Dilemma for Lawyer: Does he tell his partner about the extra 100? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfield Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt bruce Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Why did Michigan get all the toxic waste dumps and New York all the lawyers???? Michigan got first pick ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Sounds like a very smart lawyer. I don't get the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aplumma Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Why don't sharks eat lawyers??? Professional courtesy..... Art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Why do lawyers button up their shirts all the way up and wear ties? Keeps 4skin from covering their face LOL and forget the shovel Wayne, I think Marty would agree the only right move is to buy Uncle Enzo's house and just pay someone to dig it up...more dignified than sneaking around with a shovel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Good one Norm, funny!!! Joey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tootsie II Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Have to admit I saw this one in Reader's Digest but it's worth re-telling. A engineer dies and arrives at the pearly gates. St.Peter takes a look in the register and says " Sorry, Bub, you not destined for here. Down you go!" About six months later, God calls up Satan and asks " How's it going?" Satan says" Man it's just great down here. That engineer you sent us has designed and installed air conditioning, escalators and fire supression sytems. We couldn't ask for better." God goes back to St.Peter and says " Will you check out that engineer that you sent to Hell about 6 months ago. St.Peter does and says " Oh my Lord, I made a terrible mistake, he should be up here with us" God calls Satan back and says " Hey, we made a mistake, that engineer should be up here with us. I want you to send him back right away and if you don't I'll sue." "Yah" says Satan, " and where are you going to find a lawyer?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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