Oldfart and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons,
watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Oldfart didn't show up.
Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Oldfart hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park,
Sam didn't know where Oldfart lived, so he was unable to find out what had
happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Oldfart,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- low and behold! --there sat
Oldfart! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, 'For crying out loud Oldfart, what in the world happened to you?'
Oldfart replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,' Oldfart said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'
'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'