I am a Huge fan of the show, Rescue Me, which has many great quoates, not many i can put here but htis is a great one.
Janet: A pipe is leaking in the kitchen, and Roger is coming over for dinner.
Tommy: He can't fix it himself?
Janet: No, he's not good with tools.
Tommy: That's funny, seeing how he is one.
Johnny: So, you're not in jail yet?
Tommy: No. Why would I be in jail? Except for maybe killing you, which I would right now, except it would interupt my smoke.
--Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin