Billy Bob Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 A TRIP TO SAM'S CLUB Yesterday I was at my local SAM'S CLUB buying a large bag of Purina puppy chow for my chocolate lab Tundra, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people! They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends.......it will be their "laugh for the day"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pikeslayer Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 This one never gets 'tired'. So Tundra it is eh Bob??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Bob Posted August 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 This one never gets 'tired'. So Tundra it is eh Bob??? Ah.....NO......it's.............. TUNDRA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Tundra backwards is ARDNUT...... JUST IN CASE YOU WANTED TO KNOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Bob Posted August 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Tundra backwards is ARDNUT...... JUST IN CASE YOU WANTED TO KNOW Oh....OK.......but on to more important dog matters....which ear do I probe with my finger...the left or right.... :rofl2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Oh....OK.......but on to more important dog matters....which ear do I probe with my finger...the left or right.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTHM Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Oh....OK.......but on to more important dog matters....which ear do I probe with my finger...the left or right.... :rofl2: In your case the one under the tail.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Bob Posted August 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 In your case the one under the tail.... Why are you butting in here...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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