Canada getting beat up by Tom Bauerle

[Grimace]

Pining for the Fjords? What type of talk is that?

 

 

[spincast]

Have you any cheesy comestibles..

beg your pardon sir

Do you have any CHEESE,

Oh Cheese, yes of course sir...Finest cheese shop in the area

 

 

[mercman]

BBC Interviewer: The activity you see behind me is part of the preparations for the new Naval Expedition to Lake Pahoe. The man in charge of this expedition is Vice Admiral Sir John Cunningham. Sir, John, hello there.

Vice-Admiral Sir John Cunningham: Ah, hello. Well, first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy. They are a small vociferous minority... and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find tooth marks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is *right out*.

[Grimace]

What if your attacked by a man with a pointed stick?

 

 

This could literally go on forever. The mods should shut us down. lol

[mercman]

Man:

'Evening, squire!

 

Squire:

(stiffly)

Good evening.

 

Man:

Is, uh,... Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

 

Squire:

I, uh, I beg your pardon?

 

Man:

Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?

 

Squire:

(flustered)

Well, she sometimes 'goes', yes.

 

Man:

Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, know whatahmean, nudge nudge?

 

Squire:

(confused)

I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.

 

Man:

Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good!

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

 

Squire:

Are you, uh,... are you selling something?

Man:

SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?

(pause)

Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!

 

Squire:

Well, I, uh....

 

Man:

Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?

 

Squire:

Um, she likes sport, yes!

 

Man:

I bet she does, I bet she does!

 

Squire:

As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.

 

Man:

'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh?

Knew she would. Likes games, eh?

She's been around a bit, been around?

 

Squire:

She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale.

 

(pause)

 

Man:

SAY NO MORE!!

Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!

 

Squire:

I wasn't going to!

 

Man:

Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?

Is your uh, is your wife interested in... photography, ay? 'Photographs, ay', he asked him knowlingly?

 

Squire:

Photography?

 

Man:

Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

 

Squire:

Holiday snaps, eh?

 

Man:

They could be, they could be taken on holiday.

Candid, you know, CANDID photography?

 

Squire:

No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.

 

Man:

Oh.

(leeringly)

Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?

 

Squire:

Look... are you insinuating something?

 

Man:

Oh, no, no, no... yes.

 

Squire:

Well?

 

Man:

Well, you're a man of the world, squire.

 

Squire:

Yes...

 

Man:

I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh... You've 'done it'...

 

Squire:

What do you mean?

 

Man:

Well, I mean like,... you've SLEPT, with a lady...

 

Squire:

Yes...

 

Man:

What's it like?