Redneck Poem

[DT10Sam]

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue

And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

 

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

 

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

 

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,

What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,

To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

 

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,

You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

 

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

 

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

 

Some men git roses on that special day

From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

 

But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

More useful than diamonds......IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

 

Regards,

Sam

[TJQ]

Sniff, sniff... thanks Sam... it brought tears to my eyes... its beautiful.

[huntervasili]

LOL that is really something else... read that on an anniversary or a wedding or something... I am still laughing, Thanks for sharing that with us Sam...

[motv8tr]

Too funny

 

Maureen

[Squid]

Good one!