Morning Smile! Nf

[Rob]

Merry Christmas

 

A man in Newfoundland calls his son in Calgary three days before

Christmas & says "I hate to ruin your day but I'm divorcing your

mother. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

 

"Faudder! Whadda ya talkin about b'y??" the son screams.

"We can't stand da sight of each hudder any longer" the father

says. "We're sick'n'tired of each other & I'm sick of talkin' about dis,

so you call yer sister in Vancouver & tell 'er."

 

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No

way dur gettin' divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of dis."

 

She calls Newfoundland immediately & screams at her father "Yer

not getting divorced. Don't do a single ting until I gets dere. I'm

cawin' me brudder back & we'll both be dere by da mar. Until den don't do

nuntin, DO YOU 'EAR ME??" and hangs up.

 

The old man hangs up his phone & turns to his wife. "Okay" he says,

"Dey're comin for Christmas & dey're paying deir own way!"

[Greencoachdog]

Dat dere izza good ones!

[Eddyk]

No one likes a Newfie joke more than a Newfie.

[Daplumma]

SUV BLACK BOXES

 

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. Auto makers for the past 5 years, whereby auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 45 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh Crap!"

 

Only the states of Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Missouri, Texas and Central Florida were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'."

[wishn4fishn]

LOLLing, based on a true story.