Holy crap your hilarious???
my grandpa, on my dads side, took me every weekend as a lad.
He could not cook, at all. Every morning we had this huge(to me) breakfast.
First, a grapefruit. Sqeeze out and drink the juice afterwards.
Then two pieces of toast.
Then two eggs fried in lard
The two thick slices of spam or klick, he preferred klick.
Then one huge glass of while milk
Hahahaha