JohnF

It's probably misleading to refer to any of them as ladies. As for age I'm not always certain as my eyes keep sliding below the neck for some reason. Some are easy to recognize as on the elderly side but yer eyes tend to then be drawn back above the neck, or away out across the water as like as not. All that being said a nice degree of lasciviousness can offset a little aging in a woman. But fetchingly lewd & lascivious works better in a smokey bar. Any time you feel the need to introduce a newby to the mysteries of floatfishing just let me know. It may not be happening soon though as my wife has me booked solid for the rest of this week. Then business obligations have me in Toronto and otherwheres until next Thursday evening. Then we leave for Cancun just before New Years and won't be back in Canada till February. I may have to settle for getting my fish fixes vicariously for the next while unless I get my butt out and dive with the sharks & eels while I'm down south. JF

Stop, dammit! Just stop! I do not wanna see any more of yer friggin' inflammatory artsy juxtapositions of tree-lined trails and roiling rivers salted with fish porn. If this keeps up I'm gonna have to leave early for Cancun. I'll need a beach fix to wash yer fishy dreamscapes from my mind. Besides, the ladies in Cancun are prettier than yer stinkin' feesh. I realize yer fish are topless too, but somehow it just ain't the same. I may well go home and break my virgin 13 footer into little bitty pieces, toss it in the bag with all that oh-so-perfect-just-the-right-brand-and-size-still-in-the-package terminal tackle, don my nifty SoloPaddlerWannabe fingerless gloves and chuck the whole dammed mess in the garbage chute down the hall. Bleah!!! JF

Every cloud has a silver lining. John Daly was quoted as saying something like "I wanna party with Tiger now." JF

I'm a little concerned that we haven't heard from Dawg since these pics got posted. I have this vision of him prostrate on the floor in front of his computer hyperventilating from the overdose of fish porn. Is there anyone living near him who might be able to turn at least avert the screen from his view, give his over-taxed fish-loving heart a chance to slow down? JF

OK. GCD just swooned. JF

Us overly tolerant Toronto fans live for those isolated moments when our bumbling hands of stone fumblers stick it to some of those fleet-footed tape to tape paragons. I'm sure guys like Kessel & Kaberle, or last night Stajan, are genuinely thrilled to be allowed on the same ice as some of these real live true professionals. JF

Be kinda embarrassing if it came out they did it outside the Forum before last night's game. JF

I haven't been inside since I last coached about 20 years ago. I love old style arenas. We have a classic here in Stratford. The've poured a lot of money into it which is almost unfortunate because they are getting farther and farther away from what it once was. I remember years ago a buddy of mine came back with his kid's team to play some exhibition games with our kids. He said he had played in every professional arena in North America (at the time) and there wasn't a nicer old style arena in existance. JF

One of the best things about being a Leafs fan is that we always have something better to look forward to. JF

I can't believe they're still playing there. It was old when I played. It should be a museum now, or be in one. JF

Our society is full of folks who actually believe the news is what you read on the scandal sheets at the grocery store checkout. As for this, as tired of it as some of us are, howja think Tiger feels? JF

See if you can pick up an extra decoder box. They show up used occasionally. JF

Lotsa Jr at all levels from Major on down. Take yer pick. I can't remember if NH has any kind of Jr team these days. I should. It's only a 10 minute drive but with so many teams around we just don't need to drive anywhere. We have a strong Jr B club here in Stratford. They've been pulling a Toronto the last few years but before that they were among the best pretty consistently with the likes of Chris Pronger & Eddy Olczek among the host of quality players who spent a year or two here. If we want Major we just have to drive a few miles down the road to Kitchener. You're only a very quick drive from the Kitchener arena when you're in Cambridge. It's right off the Parkway. JF

Yeah, on Sunday we were trying to send you some instant pics of the 40 or so pike we were hauling in so you and Rob could join us. Too bad yer Blackberry wasn't workin'. JF

It can be a pretty fine line between describing the gear used in a specific application and blatant product pandering. At times I like to hear the explanation of why mono is used instead of braid, or why a certain rod is particularly well-suited to the particular situation. I don't always agree but hey, if I knew as much as any of these fishing show dudes I'd be on tv too. Too often, though, the explanation, instead of offering anything of value, turns into a sales pitch with no real information value. But then that's why we're lucky to have a forum like OFC. We get to hear the biased AND the objective. When the objective observers back up the guy with the vested interest then I get more interested in the product. But sometimes if there was no biased promotion we might never get into the objective discussion on other than the really really good and the really really bad stuff. The slightly better than so-so stuff would be overlooked. All that being said I'm finding that in general the fishing shows are getting pretty bogged down in promo work. I don't mind JP's show because he says it up front that he's there to introduce gear, then he does a quick in the field application. And Mercer mixes in enough entertainment & fishing so any product plugs are okay, and sometimes even includes useful tips. Whoda thunk bass would get off on a squirt of scent in the yap as a reward for getting stabbed? JF

We even had it in Stratford this morning. The sound of it thundering to the ground must have awakened me thru the night. I couldn't get back to sleep so I played on the computer at around Lew A.M. JF

Go to a dealer. We always sold what gave the fewest problems cuz we didn't want to deal with unhappy customers. Back in those days we found that different makes worked differently on different sled brands for some reasom. Seems to me that Dayco belts worked best for Skidoos but Skidoo belts worked best on our racing Rupps????? JF

I fished in shirtsleeves this weekend. My longjohns had sleeves, my turtleneck had sleeves, my pullover had sleeves. They're all kinda like shirtsleeves aren't they. The only thing that didn't have sleeves was the microfleece vest I had under the pullover. So there. JF

I'm almost afraid of jinxing myself but the pita calls seem to have dried up on our home phones. I've had a few spammy text messages on my cell but not a lot. JF

That's what girls used to tell me. When? JF

So what's yer point? JF

The pirate word was mentioned. They were the only boots I had without felt soles. Looks kinda silly where I was standing in the pic but earlier we were stumbling around on greasy muddy slopes and I really didn't relish the idea of an ice water bath. The weather was around zero when we started so I had lotsa protection on. At least I wasn't wearing my rabbit fur ear lug hat. JF

If only you'd known in time, ya coulda plunked yerself down on his/her lap too. And I bet ya wouldn't have cried either. JF

Guess I just wasn't as desperate to hit the hot tub, eh? JF

Nice. Now I know why you took so long posting yer report. Good fiction takes a while to write, huh? JF