So true, when we had Trooper I told my wife, and you will likely think I'm crazy, that I wanted him to be part of the whole process so he knows that I am gone in this way and didn't abandom him. And I know with his intelligence he would know what happened and what was going on. He would have been very sad losing me as we loved each other to death, Dads Boy, but not as sad I don't think as I have been losing him, I don't know.