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The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"

"Tom," the new seaman replied.

 

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief'. Do I make myself clear?"

 

"Aye, Aye Chief!"

 

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

 

The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is Tom Darling, Chief."

 

"Okay, Tom, here's what I want you to do ."

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