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NF Funny Women should not take men shopping


holdfast

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This is why women should not take men shopping against their

>> >>>> will. After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her

>> >>>> husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr

>> >>>> Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to

>> >>>> get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like

>> >>>> most women--she loved to browse.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her

>> >>>> local Wal-Mart.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,

>> >>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a

>> >>>> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be

>> >>>> forced

>> >>>> to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.

>> >>>> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video

>> >>>> surveillance cameras.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in

>> >>>> people's carts when they weren't looking.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5

>> >>>> minute intervals.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

>> >>>> the women's restroom.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 4. July 19: Complained to the service desk that he waited in the

>> >>>> men's room for an hour and no one came in to wash his hands. The

>> >>>> sign says employees

>> >>>> must wash hands.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of

>> >>>> M&M's on layaway.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a

>> >>>> carpeted area.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and

>> >>>> told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows

>> >>>> and blankets from the bedding department.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 8. September 23: Snuck into the ladies room and put all the seats up

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as

>> >>>> a mirror while flossing his teeth.

>> >>>>

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,

>> >>>> he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while

>> >>>> loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his

>> >>>> "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed

>> >>>> through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

>> >>>>

>> >>>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,

>> >>>> he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

>> >>>> AGAIN!"

>> >>>>

>> >>>> And last, but not least,

>> >>>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited

>> >>>> awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in

>> >>>> here!"

>> >>>>

>> >>>> Regards,

>> >>>>

>> >>>> Wal-Mart

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