holdfast Posted March 26, 2008 Report Posted March 26, 2008 This is why women should not take men shopping against their >> >>>> will. After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her >> >>>> husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr >> >>>> Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to >> >>>> get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like >> >>>> most women--she loved to browse. >> >>>> >> >>>> One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her >> >>>> local Wal-Mart. >> >>>> >> >>>> Dear Mrs. Fenton, >> >>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a >> >>>> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be >> >>>> forced >> >>>> to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. >> >>>> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video >> >>>> surveillance cameras. >> >>>> >> >>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in >> >>>> people's carts when they weren't looking. >> >>>> >> >>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 >> >>>> minute intervals. >> >>>> >> >>>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to >> >>>> the women's restroom. >> >>>> >> >>>> 4. July 19: Complained to the service desk that he waited in the >> >>>> men's room for an hour and no one came in to wash his hands. The >> >>>> sign says employees >> >>>> must wash hands. >> >>>> >> >>>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of >> >>>> M&M's on layaway. >> >>>> >> >>>> 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a >> >>>> carpeted area. >> >>>> >> >>>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and >> >>>> told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows >> >>>> and blankets from the bedding department. >> >>>> >> >>>> 8. September 23: Snuck into the ladies room and put all the seats up >> >>>> >> >>>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as >> >>>> a mirror while flossing his teeth. >> >>>> >> >>>> >> >>>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, >> >>>> he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were. >> >>>> >> >>>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while >> >>>> loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme. >> >>>> >> >>>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his >> >>>> "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels >> >>>> >> >>>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed >> >>>> through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" >> >>>> >> >>>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, >> >>>> he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES >> >>>> AGAIN!" >> >>>> >> >>>> And last, but not least, >> >>>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited >> >>>> awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in >> >>>> here!" >> >>>> >> >>>> Regards, >> >>>> >> >>>> Wal-Mart
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