i actually frame for a living, ive been framing for about 9 years nows. personally i would go with your second option on building it yourself, you and your wife get to design it and the best part of that is you get to watch it being built,you can kind of be a supervisormind you have to bring coffe's. if you have your house built in a subdivision you dont know what type of framer your dealing with cause there are alot of guys that just dont care, these house get thrown up in a week and a half and if theres not a good crew were on it youll have squeeky everything. good luck to you and your wife.