Danger Signals

[Jonny]

For the edification of the younger members here... us old geezers are plenty familiar with the code language...

 

It's amazing how much of this is true... i.e. ALL OF IT!

 

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

 

(1) Fine: This is the

word women use to end an argument when they are right and

you need to shut up.

 

(2) Five

Minutes: If she is

getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is

only five minutes if you have just been given five more

minutes to watch the game before helping around the

house.

 

(3) Nothing: This is the

calm before the storm. This means something, and you should

be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually

end in fine.

 

(4) Go

Ahead: This is a

dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

 

(5) Loud

Sigh: This is

actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often

misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are

an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing

here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3

for the meaning of nothing.)

 

(6) That's

Okay: This is one of

the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.

That's okay means she wants to think long and hard

before deciding how and when you will pay for your

mistake.

 

(7) Thanks: A woman is

thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're

welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true,

unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE

sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say

'you're welcome' . that will bring on a

'whatever').

 

(8) Whatever: Is a

woman's way of saying SCREW YOU!

 

(9) Don't worry

about it, I got it: Another

dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman

has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it

herself. This will later result in a man asking

'What's wrong?' For the woman's response

refer to # 3.