Jump to content

danbo

Members
  • Posts

    2,646
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by danbo

  1. Thanx RAF, I wonder why there's so little interest in knife-collecting here?
  2. http://vintagebladesus.net/vshop/xcart/pro...at=0&page=1
  3. Yup, I believe that this is what it has come to!!!!! This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner. I looked away For a couple seconds ! And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver , Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand. In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocked My cell phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee Between my legs, Splashed, And burned Big Dan and the Twins, Ruined the darn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call. Stupid women drivers
  4. Lake O fish are mushy & pale looking meat.
  5. Yep, but I only catch bigguns when I go! I've noticed a lot of Quinte Walleyes with "growths" on their face, yet guys eat them! Yuck..I'd rather throw a Shaker Chinny on the barbi myself..
  6. You should always cut-off the belly strips. The fatty areas is where the toxins accumulate. Grilling lets the fat drip off too.
  7. Maybe anglers should carry a baseball bat with them at all times? World gets wierder by the day..
  8. I'd help ya but your on my Ignore List..
  9. The Old Man by Dan Reid Autumn leaves swirled in the eddy by the little falls. Dappled shadows of the afternoon sun through the trees, flickered & danced with the breeze. He always came to the river, to clear his mind. The salmon were in, their dark forms streaked across the rocky floor of the shallow pool. After all the years, he still got a kick from fishing. It was his greatest passion in life. Reaching into the satchel he had brought, the old man snapped-open the little plastic box that stored his collection of home-made flies. Today, the clear flow of the water called for a dark pattern to tempt the fish with. Puffing on his smoke, he plucked a small black & chartreuse "woolly bugger" out of the menagerie & reached for the line hanging from his fly rod, to tie it on. As he quietly picked his way over the shoreline rubble to position himself to cast, he thought he saw a flash in the water below. There, where the red willow bush hung over the surface, he caught another glimpse of the fish..and Lord, what a fish it was! 38 years of raking this stream, yet he had never before seen a fish of such magnitude. He could usually guess a fishes weight just by looking at it, but this one boggled the calculator in his head. His nerves began to tremble as adrenalin coursed through his veins. Mother Nature must be playing a trick on me, he thought. Suddenly, the big Chinook leapt clear out of the sparkling pulse & hung in mid-air momentarily, just long enough to show it's glistening mass. God Almighty, it had to go 80 pounds or better! As the old man's jaw hung slack, his heart raced so hard with anticipation, he feared he was having another "attack". Now, collecting his senses back together, he raised the graphite rod to begin his cast... The sound of an electronic "beeping" was the first thing he heard. The muddy outline of the nurse leaning over his face added a surreal dimension to the fuss going on about him. A terrific weight pressed down on his chest, while another pain seemed to push-back against the invisible force that overtook his entire body. "What the hell is happening to me", he writhed with the awful sensations that were crushing upon him. Suddenly, he felt his life-energy leaving his body & rushing into oblivion. As the room grew darker & the surroundings became distant, he faintly heard the sound of thousands of children singing from far away. A single spot of white light raced towards him, ever expanding with its approach. Helpless & immobilized, he floated in a warp of time & space, beyond anything he had ever imagined before. This is not a dream, yet somehow, he felt no fear. As if entering some crystalline palace, the light energy enveloped him & took away his pain. Gently & unobtrusively, a woman with long flowing red hair appeared before him, though her facial features were indistinguishable. Words were neither spoken, nor heard yet, somehow, the message was conveyed.."you are loved and everything will be ok". Then as if someone was working a remote control, like with a television set, the channel was "flicked" & he felt the warmth return to his body, as he awoke again in the hospital bed. "Dear God", the nurse wept, "we lost you!" The tired old man looked up into her tear-swollen eyes & smiled. "Lady", he mused, "If you only knew the half of what I saw..thank you for staying with me. I can't wait 'til I can get out of here and..go fishin' ". A story by Dan Reid
  10. Oh ya, you wanna step outside Roy?
  11. Next time just put the sprinkler on..joking!
  12. Little Dave is in school. He's about nine. one day, his best mate Tom says to him, "hey Dave, guess what! I made 10 dollars! want to know how?" Of course Dave wants to know how. "well, I just went up to my mother, looked at her and said, "I know everything! " and she gave me the money!" That afternoon, Dave goes home, and says to his mum, 'I know everything!' His mother looks at him for a minute, gives him ten dollars, pats him on the head, and says, 'Don't tell anyone.' Dave's stoked. he runs over to his dad in the garage; "I know everything!" His father looks at him, gives him $20 and tells him the same thing; Don't tell anybody. the kid is overjoyed that it worked so well. he runs outside, and sees the postman, and says to him, "I know everything!" The postman gives him the a big smile and says, 'well come give your daddy a hug!'
  13. Get some flyline backing & put it on first.
  14. Musical Interlude.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FRtkek-Et4...feature=related
  15. You Might Be A Redneck If... Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida. You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner. You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction. You think subdivision is part of a math problem. You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'. You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups. You think genitalia is an Italian airline. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
  16. The Drunk A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed. 'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers. 'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!' 'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer. 'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband. 'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark. 'Where are you?' asks the husband. 'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.
  17. Yo MissMikey..why don't ya go back to your nude-badminton site..
  18. Man, I've been banned for less..
×
×
  • Create New...