Monday Funny: Rob the chicken

[MooseMerch]

Rob the Chicken

 

Rob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber..

 

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Rob....'

 

Rob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

 

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

 

Rob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home..... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

 

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

 

'Not bad,' replied Rob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

 

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.

'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '

 

'Never,' said Rob.

 

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

 

Rob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

 

Rob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

 

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....

 

"ROB, wake up. You crap the bed!'