Friday Funny (NF)

[fishinfool]

Teacher to young boy:

 

Three birds are sitting on a wire. A gunman shoots one of the birds.

How many birds are there left on the wire?"

 

The boy pauses. "None", he replied.

 

"No, no, no. Let's try again," the teacher says patiently. She holds up

three fingers. "Three birds are sitting on a wire. A gunman shoots

one," she puts down one finger, "how many birds are there left on the

wire?"

 

"None", the boy says with authority.

 

The teacher sighs. "Tell me how you came up with that."

 

"It's simple," says the boy, "after the gunman shot one bird, he scared

the other two away."

 

"Well," she says, "it's not technically correct, but I do like the way

you think."

 

"Okay," chimes the boy, "now let me ask you a question. There are three

women sitting on a bench eating popsicles. One woman is licking the

popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the

popsicle. Which one is married?" he asked innocently.

 

The teacher looked at the boy's angelic face and writhed in agony,

turning three shades of red.

 

"C'mon," the boy said impatiently, "one is licking the popsicle, one is

biting, and one is sucking. Which one is married?"

 

"Well," she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, "the one

who's sucking?"

 

"No," he says with surprise, "the one with the wedding ring on. But I

like the way you think."

 

 

 

^{Don't know if it's just me or what but I laughed so hard at this next one that I nearly had to change my gitch.}

 

 

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.

 

 

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

 

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

 

 

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

 

 

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

 

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.

 

 

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

 

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

 

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

 

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

 

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

 

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

 

 

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she craps on you!'