JohnF

Somebody tells me to produce a licence better be prepared to produce proof they're an enforcement officer first. When they can't I start noting details of their boat, appearance etc, and advising them that I'll be going to the authorities with the idea of getting them charged for impersonating a leo. Hopefully they aren't bigger and tougher than me. Is this why serious fisherpersons have such huge motors on their boats - to escape? JF

As far as I'm concerned they'd be doing everyone a favour by reporting that guy. If the incident was in fact racially motivated, all the more reason for reporting him. The only mistake would be letting him get away with that kind of nonsense. JF

Do ya get penalized for dropping a windknot around a craphawk's neck? I don't want all the notoriety that Winfield got for dropping that gull in the baseball game. I thought it was a helluva throw. He shoulda got some kind of award, from the league for throwing control and the world for ridding it of one more useless poop producer. JF

So what kind of manure works best in 'Bama? JF

Too much danger to my foot. JF

They told me about the manure, but said it's what set their squeezin's apart from the run of the mill swill. They said it took a real man to drink their stuff, and the berries were just in case any of the wimmenfolk wanted a taste. JF

So if the carp are cruising the surface in the afternoon, can you use a surface bait on them? If so, what? I went down to the park today and saw loads of average sized carp cruising. Those of you familiar with Stratford will know what I mean when I say by Shakespeare gardens and downstream about 100 yds past the next bridge. There are also some little catfish along the bottom, the little yellowy green guys. Also a herd of itty bitty rock bass if you want some fun for the kids. JF

I've heard of that but never wanted to try it. The way I wuz told a real southern gentleman licks the area clean first so the tabasco really sticks, then releases the fish. Something about the saliva cutting through the slime etc. I guess I'm just not man enuf to try it. JF

Suckers. Evidently not all that common in Ontario, but present in my part of the province (southwestern Ontario) in the Thames. We see them all the time but they ignore our smallmouth lures. I was actually hunting big ole carp when I caught that little guy. Frankly he wasn't much fun. He didn't raise any fuss until I tried to grip him. Perhaps the grownups are more exciting to catch. JF

Just like vodka. JF

A sucker we have here in southern Ontario. Got reddish fins. I believe the ones we have in this part of the Thames are River Redhorse but I could very easily be wrong. Mine was a small one, only slightly more than a pound, 12/14 inches long. No fight till I tried to get him out of the water, then he went postal on me. He inhaled some sweetened corn on a hair rig that I let cruise along the bottom in a foot or two of fairly fast water. I put a couple of splitshot on above the swivel to slow the bait down in the current. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_redhorse Here's a bit more info. I guess those two little dots in SWO are supposed to represent the one I caught. http://www.dfo-mpo.gc.ca/species-especes/s...riviere-eng.htm JF

You mean as opposed to me showing you where we could catch some pike? I'd like that - where & when? I'd like to bring my buddy Rob (the artist) so he can see there's more in fishing than a $29.95 rod/reel from Kmart with 4# mono and a grey 2.5" Rapala minnow - not that he doesn't catch bass with it but after more than 50 years of fishing that way he really should broaden his horizons. He was knocked out that my itty bitty hair rigs with sweet smelling corn caught a fish, let alone a Red Horse that he's been hoping to hook into for years. There are actually a lot of them around here but they're all so busy snuffling up the bottom that we never hook 'em. I can get away almost any evening, Saturday or Sunday now. Once in a while I might work for a few hours on a Saturday but generally I'm looking for an excuse to escape from my gardening chores. JF

Only the morning after, plus listening to my other redneck buddies argue about whether Tennessee or Kaintuck produces the most drinkable product, and whether strawberries should be used to flavour it. Evidently it matters whether ya get the retired County Sheriff`s product or under the counter at the gas station stuff. I in fact have a half jar of Tennessee White Lightnin`with strawberries in my cupboard as we speak. When fresh the strawberry beverage is nice. Once the berries turn a yukky brown it gets pretty untasty. Perhaps the Kaintuck variety ages better than this varietal though. Dunno about the Bama Brand. Never tried any of it. JF

I forgot - you don't do beverages that come in brown bottles with a cap, only mason jars. JF

Give us a report. I'd like to get out there some time soon. It's only 10 minutes from the house - well, 15 to the south end. JF

Well, not quite 70, but sneaking up on it. And speaking of gas - have you tried Leinenkugel yet? It's lethal. JF

Hey. Sometimes ya get gas. Oh, you really mean the fish....... JF

This was just a baby and gave me no fight at all. I expect the mommas and papas would give better. JF

Strawberries or Virginia Creeper - honest, dude. Maryjoowanna is illegal. It can't be growing there. JF

Passed a lot of folks fishing the creek below the dam today and had a feller stop to ask for directions to the south end of the lake. Are there any Pike being caught at Wildwood? I'm thinking I should get out there soon if there are. Would rather work from a boat but since that isn't likely I'll hang with the peons on shore. JF

Ya like the gummy ones???? JF

So we went carping in St.Marys on the Thames today, actually south of St.Marys a bit. I wanted to prove my home made hair rigs would work. As for bait I just thawed some corn and soaked it in mint extract and almond extract. The kitchen smelled yummy. Waded out, needled the corn onto the rig, added a split shot up above the swivel to get the thing to cast and tossed it out there. Waited a few minutes, noticed some odd motion on the rod tip and gave a gentle tug - nothing - so I waited. Another little quaver of the rod tip so I started winding in easily. Nothing but current resistance - except that the line is now passing me going gently up stream. Hmmmmm. So I start reeling although it really didn't feel like a fish so much as salad. Then it rolled about 20' from me and I thought it was a skinny bass. Got it closer and realized it was in fact a small Red Horse. This guy was only about 14" but had lots of spirit once I got him up to me. He'd really inhaled the hook but I was able to get the pliers on it and remove it easily, mainly because the barb was crushed down. They don't give much fight, at least not compared to a smallmouth. No pic. The camera was in the car and I had my hands full standing in the middle of the river, loading corn etc. But it is my PB (and only) Red Horse, and my hair rigs worked. JF

There are pretty ones? JF

I'm actually lighter (weight-wise) than I was years ago - but certainly not stronger. I've done enuf diving off boats to know how to find my way back aboard, even with a bunch of extra weight (in gear) hooked onto me. I figger if in the last 5 years with dive gear I've been able to clamber aboard using the outboard and lowered transom to help, I can find a way to make do without the extra weight. If I ever find myself boating in crappy conditions without a buddy on board I'll give some thought to wearing a pfd. I don't think of boating in normal conditions as any more dangerous than driving on our highways and I've suffered the worst that can offer, and survived. Don't get me wrong. I think there's a role for pfd's for those who might be in danger if they find themselves in the water unexpectedly. I may be over confident but I really don't get all bent out of shape about having a hundred feet of water under my feet. If the water is too cold for me to handle then I better take some precautions, but under normal conditions I'll take my chances, just like we all do every time we venture out on the highways and byways. That being said, I will never laff at anyone who chooses to wear a pfd on the water, or takes a condom on a date. JF

A seat belt is the law. And it doesn't interfere with yer casting arm. Do you always wear a condom just in case you meet a hot chick? JF