JohnF

I'm gonna invent a new lure with a teeny little recorder inside with a recording of a sultry female bass/walleye/pike/musky voice whispering something like "Hey Big Boy. Wanna get lucky?" JF

I did the behind the head thang with the hammerhandle but the one I (very quickly) measured at 28" was very thick in the shoulders and squirmy as all get out. There's no way I could have hung onto him with one hand. Of course I have such dainty delicate hands. Nancy

As nutty and unenforceable as the motorcycle helmet law? JF

I'm not going to read all the replies, just offer my own opinion. If a person does not have a high comfort level with deep water they should wear one. IOW if you can't pass some kind of basic swimming test and still want to be out in a boat, wear a pfd. When I say high comfort level I mean something like this. It really isn't too much to expect of oneself. To get a scuba cert most or all of the agencies require a demonstration of reasonable swimming proficiency. As I recollect we had to be able to swim something like 300 yds (any stroke, no time limit), tread water for 10 or 20 minutes, and be able to remove and replace our dive gear on the bottom in 10-12' of water surfacing between the doffing and donning. This was done without fins and mask. Perhaps a swimming test should be part of the Boater Card test. I'm joking of course. I don't like the idea of mandating pfd use at all times. If we allow gov't to do all our thinking for us before long we'll just be drones. When do we draw the line - when the gov't mandates condoms for all single men when dating? As several have already stated wearing a pfd should be a matter of common sense. If one can't swim adequately well or is nervous about it then wear a pfd when on the water. If the conditions are adverse (current, wind, waves, temps) then wear a pfd. If one is in a vessel that is prone to capsize (canoes & kayaks in certain conditions or fast boats being driven fast). Wearing a pfd should be a personal decision inviting no negative commentary from others. I'll reference scuba diving again. Smart competent divers have an expression I'll paraphrase "Anyone can thumb a dive any time, no questions asked, and no criticism allowed." IOW if I don't feel right about a dive I can end it or cancel it and my buddy goes along with my decision like it or not. The same thinking should apply to wearing a pfd. If I want to wear one regardless of the conditions and circumstances it's my decision solely and no one else has a right to an opinion about my choice except the operator of the boat who is within their rights to insist that any or all passengers wear pfd's. JF

I've been in the ocean shoulder to shoulder (literally) with sharks, stingrays and even a Green Moray once, and up close and personal with big muskies (St.Lawrence) and pike in our northern waters (scuba diving) but none of them had a face full of hooks they wanted to stick back into me. Hooks seem to bring out the worst in pike. My buddy has caught a number of them while wading. He says they often run straight at you in the water. Once he got hooked in the leg by one he was playing. Yet we can wade in their pool all day long without so much as seeing one unless he rises to a Rapala. JF

How did you know? JF

In fact the bigger one had rolled in the line and got some hooks stuck in his gill plate as well as his yap so he had the lure pretty well laced to himself. I ended up using my trusty Gray sidecutters to cut the barb off one treble to get it out of his gill plate without hurting him any worse. I figgered the treble was a small price to pay to have him there the next time we wanted to play. I've already repacked my river bag with a different lure selection for the next pike safari. Now I'm long on spoons, buzzbaits and shallow crankbaits instead of the usual Rapala minnows and AC Shiners. Well, I actually still have the chartreuse AC Shiner in there as it was the one that got the smaller pike first. I've now included the spreaders, the Lindy glove and a longer handled pair of pliers in the bag as well, plus extra leaders. Call me chicken or call me cautious, but there won't be anybody there at the river to laff at me but the pike and he's gonna be the only one with a hook in his body. Mebbe one day I'll grow some fisherman cojones and manhandle the toothy monsters like all the scarfingered guys on here do in their pics but for now discretion will remain the better part of valour. And once I learn to deal with these guys I'll steel myself to handle stinky slimy icky catfish. JF

OK. So we all babble inanely about catching ever bigger and better pike, and I would be lying to date if I claimed to have caught one, although I've witnessed lotsa small ones (of the hammerhandle persuasion), but until last night I hadn't really realized how many big pointy teeth they had, and how insane a hooked pike was. I was just having fun running buzzbaits and topwater thingies thru a pool known to hold the odd small pike, and getting swirls, flashes and burbles that ocasionally seemed bigger than hammerhandle but I assumed was an optical distortion of the water. I had just watched a nice new chartreuse buzzbait disappear like magic in a near-silent swirl when a voice behind me said something like "Ya gotta love topwater, huh?" I could see my buddy Rob downstream wasting energy so I knew it wasn't him. I turned to the voice with some snappy rejoinder like "No crape, Sherlock" and realized the voice's body was wearing green and brown with badges and things and a flak vest. It's the first time I've ever seen CO out on the Thames. I told him I was pleased to see him checking up. He responded with "I don't hear that very often." He seemed to get a kick out of watching the swirls and bubbles - and hung around for quite a while chatting. Anyway, back to my story. So for all you guys and gals who routinely catch decent-sized pike and flip out the hook and chuck 'em back in the water - are you by any chance catching elderly toothless denizens of the Canadian deeps? Cuz the 28 incher that I caught last night was a horrid wee critter with a huge snapping maw and a really bad attitude. OK. I can understand why he'd be pissed at me for filling his face with hooks, albeit smallish ones from a little bitty shallow running crankbait, but man, was he nasty. I hauled him up into shallow water and surveyed the situation from a safe distance. I mean I stood very well back cuz this dude was doing flips and cartwheels in like 3 inches of water. I tried reasoning with him from a distance but that`s when I realized he must be a her cuz she wasn`t even pretending to listen to me. And whenever I started to get my hand anywhere near her face she went berserk on me. I just knew she was contriving to impale me with at least one of my own hooks. I could see it in her beady little eyes. And those slavering jaws held more than a normal quotient of teeth. I'm sure she was supposed to be at least 5' long with that faceful of choppers. So how do y'all go about unhooking these boys without suffering personal hookage? I finally got her unhooked and safely revived to the point where she flashed her butt at me and tore off for deeper water, but it was embarrassingly inept to say the least, and she's probably still giggling at the inane babbling that came out of me as I talked my way thru the operation. Another question. Are those Lindy gloves any good. I bought one when I first got back into fishing but catching only toothless bass have never had occasion to use it so of course it was at home when I caught my second pike. Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that a few minutes before this nasty specimen I caught my first ever pike (of this particular incarnation of me as fisherperson). It was a relatively domesticated little snotrocket that willingly (obviously of the male persuasion as he was much easier to reason with) surrendered his body to my tender ministrations (unhookage) and tore off gladly to tell Momma about the nice human on the riverbank. I guess the second pike wasn't his Mom given the nasty attitude and all. So, to save me more embarrassment at the next Close Encounter of The Pikey Kind could y'all please fill me in on the proper care and handling of pike with attitude? Thanks JF

It don't make no nevermind. I started with a lefty, bought and used a righty, and other than a slight adjustment period I like both. I'm not even sure which is my good side any more. Mebbe neither. Got a Quantum Something -or-other (iridescent) for the left side and a little bitty Calcutta for the nuther side. I really liked the Calcutta righty while I wuz using it (with frogs) but after some practice time with a light weight I'm cool with the lefty as well. Baitcasters are fun. I think I like 'em better than spinning reels except when the lure is way too lite. JF

My uncle didn't talk a lot about it and that's about the only thing he didn't talk a lot about, so I figgered it was a traumatic kind of experience. He told me a few stories though, and it sounded scary. Of course, he was only 17 when he enlisted so he was fearless, and immortal - then. JF

I've been meaning to get down to see it. My uncle was a tailgunner in 'em. I'd like to see where he rode in real life. JF

He also neglected to mention I got the biggest perch of the weekend. JF

Well, I sure hope it ain't the biggest fish of the month. That would be disappointing for all proud Kawarthians. JF

Mine was actually the biggest fish. You just take out a lot of little bitty people. JF

That's one of the sadder intros I've seen. JF

Ya gotta love a happy ending, especially when it's about one of our kids. I'm not an overly religious person but it's nice to think that all those prayers helped, even a little bit. I'm happy for you and the young guy. JF

Another weird storm - well, mebbe not so weird for THIS summer. I was heading home under sunny skies to start the bbq and watched the rainclouds blow in. It was pouring within 5 minutes. My wife called her gf to cancel their golf game about 30 kliks away. We got a lot of rain in a short time, not much wind and no hail, then the sun was out again in short order and we had a beautiful evening. This morning Wendy called her gf who said she played and Wendy missed a great round, with clear skies, warm breeze and no rain (30 kliks away). KW is only 40 kliks away and they apparentlly had hail. Crazy stuff. JF

I probably have the same one, except in one of her house makeovers my wife decreed that many of my books did not match the new colour scheme and were relegated to the crawlspace. I haven't dug 'em out yet. But your year is right. JF

This thing about territoriality has come up a few times here recently and for those of you who have the patience to struggle thru a pretty unexciting book, totally lacking in plot, but with lots of sex and violence, you might wanna try this baby. http://www.ditext.com/ardrey/imperative/imperative.html I first read it in university and have gone back to it a few times since. It goes a long way towards explaining some of the behaviours you recognize in animals and fish, and might help you in your frustrating and humiliating quest to outwit a critter with a brain smaller than your fingernail (and that's the more advanced ones). JF

Not just perch. I caught a little bitty rock bass in the slop on a Yum frog (toad - whatever) and he had absolutely inhaled the lure feet first. The frog's nose was at the little guy's lip and as I said to Garry after "The feet had to be hanging out his butt." That's some serious attitude going on. JF

Friends should never argue politics with friends. The dirt rubs off and spoils otherwise good relationships. The smart move is to leave the politicians to roll around in the dirt with each other and spare the rest of us the stench. We Canucks are resilient and so far have been able to bounce back from whatever pollution the pols have brought down on us. For instance, paying too much tax is a small price for living here. JF

Well Rich, you've had the whole spectrum of responses. Probably not too helpful to you all in all. Back in the day I was always up for any experience like that but with the benefit of hindsight consider these facts (or suggestions): 1. Bermuda is a very small isolated island so once you've seen all 20 square miles of it the new is over. You don't don't just hop on a quaint little train and ride down the line to go skiing in Zermat or Klosters or Innsbruck for a day or two. Side trips are the best part of spending time in a distant port. 2. I have been assured by folks who live and have lived there that it's a very expensive place to live. Food basics have to be brought in by container when the weather allows off-loading. We were without bread and milk for over 4 days on Grand Cayman one visit there. It's bigger than Bermuda and still has no production industries to speak, I understand there's a local bakery but it also dependent on off shore materials, and there are certainly a couple of brewhouses but no herds of cattle or goats for milk. Reason says Bermuda will be much the same. 3. I get the sense that the weather isn't necessarily tropical, the kind you'd get in, say, Grand Cayman or Tobago. Not to say it isn't nice, but remember, the nearest port offering major medical services is Boston. Look at a globe. 4. Check out the fishing offered. These islands are essentially mountains in the sea. Don't be surprised if the fishing involves boats going out to sea and that means expense. It also means giving up the kind of fishing you know and do best, probably better than most folks on this board. The Bass Hound wouldn't cut it if you know what I mean. 5. Ask about any contract required before you agree to go. I can't remember the details from my own investigation, but it seems to me there was a minimum and maximum stay required for foreigners to get employment. They don't want folks coming there on a lark expecting to ditch the job if things don't go smoothly. It's a smart way of protecting the island society from an influx of rowdy fly by night types I suppose. 6. Finally, by all means talk to some folks who have actually lived there and get their impressions of the lifestyle. I was talked out of it by the same person who put me onto the opportunity in the first place. She and her husband now live and work in Canada and are quite happy to be here. And if you consider all those things, and talk to folks with experience, and decide to go, then you'll be doing it well-informed, and there's less likelihood of disappointment. So, all that being said, it might just be your adventure of a lifetime. All the best with it. JF

Try right click on the taskbar in the blank middle area. A menu comes. Select Toolbars. Check "Language Bar". Then look on the right end of the taskbar just to the left of the expander arrow for the area that includes the little volume ican and the time of day etc. There should be a little keyboard icon and the letters EN. That's the language bar. JF

My wife would say it's too readily available now for her liking. JF

Do some serious checking before you commit. Bermuda's a very expensive place to live. PM me if you want a name to check with. I know a banker down there (a Canuck ex-pat) and I know a girl who now lives here who was a Bermuda banker not so many years back. I actually looked into moving there to work a few years back and didn't get too far thru the process before I decided it wasn't what we really wanted. Three years is a long time to commit to without knowing what's in store. And remember any family is still gonna be back here, and it's an air evac to Boston for serious medical treatment, etc. I'm all for great adventures, probably too much so in my younger years, but I'm betting that once you do some investigation you'll start to think that Bermuda may not be for you. Sometimes a weird feeling isn't fear of the unknown, it's common sense or a sixth sense, giving you a nudge in the right direction. JF