nancur373

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy." "I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle." The old woman fainted.

Doreen's husband Matt died suddenly one day. Doreen was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Matt's obituary to read. Doreen asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?" The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word." Doreen then said, "I want the obituary to read - MATT IS DEAD." The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Matt's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal since I knew Matt so well. I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket." Doreen's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - MATT IS DEAD, BOAT FOR SALE."

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The difference between a fairy tale and a fish story is a fairy tail begins, "Once upon a time..." and a fish story begins, " This ain't no crap..."

true...never thought about that...lol

My reel has the line capacities in mm. I was wondering the conversion to lbs. 0.25mm 0.30mm 0.035mm Thanks guys

World's Shortest Fairy Tale Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing a lot and hunting a lot and played golf a lot and drank beer and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END

Two guys are quietly sitting in a fishing boat sucking down beer when suddenly Mel says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

Malkin is getting guys alot of points.

How about the lame assed call on Kovalev to give Boston the 5 on 3 after he was beaten down to the ice and pinned.

They boys played a great one last night...GO HABS GO!!!

Exactly the ones. Thanks. Think they would work for pike or walleye?

Cool. The family is camping near Nippissing in August. Be my first time there.

Check out Evinrude E-tec DVD. You can get it free at most dealers. Although it is a bit biased. I have a few friends with the 90hp and they swear by them. IMHO they're all good when they work.

Where was this taken?

You might be a Fisherman if: 1) You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener. 2) Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat. 3) You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter". 4) Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file. 5) You keep a flippin stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with. 6) You name your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude". 7) Bass Pro Shop has a private line just for you. 8) You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp. 9) You have a photo of your 10 lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family. 10) You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal. 11) You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing. 12) You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot. 13) You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting. 14) Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house. 15) You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage. 16) Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone,

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are Steelheads in this river?"

A blonde guy gets up really early in the morning to go ice fishing. He goes out onto the ice with his tent, his pick and his fishing rod, and starts to pick at the ice. Then he hears a big booming voice: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The guy looks around and then starts to pick at the ice again. Then he hears the voice again: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Now the guy is getting a little edgy. He looks up toward the sky and thinks to himself, "God, is that you?" There is no answer, so he starts picking again. The voice bellowed again: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Then the guy yells, "God, is that you?" The voice answered, "NO. IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE ARENA."

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

A Fishermans Philosophy A sure way to get a bite on a slow day is: Talk about changing spots Prepare another rod while one is out Lay your rod down unsecured Go for a sandwich Start to pull the boat anchor Use the worst fly you own Crack open your first beer Crack open your last beer Take notice of the chick on a passing boat, bank or beach Watch others fishing Start reeling in your lines at going home time Give your fishing rod to a female companion or child to hold When your landing net is out of reach When you have cast your line over an obstruction When you line has drifted into impossible weeds When you turn to look at the sunrise or sunset Decide that you need to take a leak

Is your truck and trailer equiped with electric brakes? If so your brake gain may have been too high thus causing the strain. After a while (20 min) the shoes wear down (on the trailer) to applied pressure and everything is fine. It happened to me the first time i used my car hauler. Good luck with that fine lookin boat.

nancur373...GO HABS GO!!!

I've actually used that one...awesome!!!