Man, I just read the first post, I am sitting here in tears, I am so sorry to hear about your son, I have a 9 month old and that just hit me hard. I have been a long term alcoholic and bin in trouble with the police including swat a few years back, I found out I was having a son and went to rehab 2weeks over a year ago today, I just can't beleive how some things work I have lost quite a few friends and family members in the last few years, My heart goes out to you, the thought that you can even bring that up makes me proud of you, may all our strength be with you. I am not a praying man but I sure will throw one out there for you tonight