Nah, joking aside, I think I've just been going to the wrong places. This seemed like a great place Speed River [1] as did this Speed River [2], because there's a lot of cover, but it's really poluted. I kid you not, I did find some plastic fencing.
I think there are fish in the Grand / Speed, I just need to find the right places. Thanks for the suggestions that you guys provided. I'll definitely try those! I'm pretty sure that there'll be some under the 401 overpass. Surprisingly, there are also a lot of small little lakes around the Cambridge area. I wonder how access to those will be.