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Your Friday funny


misfish

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9 hours ago, misfish said:

image009.jpg.98fdb155be1b452ff6d2719e614b604a.jpg

I'm printing this off, putting in a frame and hanging in my front office/client's waiting room.

Most of my clients know Cathy (The wife) and will get a good laugh out of it.

THANKS FOR POSTING. LOL

Dan.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I suggested to my bride of three and a half decades that perhaps some "adjustment" to our relationship might be in order. I passed this along to her as a template for our go forward position, more evenly distributing the daily chores that life gives.

I should be out of the hospital and walking upright in the next 4-6 weeks.

HH

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  • 2 weeks later...

This happened yesterday and is important information for our age group.

A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center
after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.

When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to
ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.

He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to
the vaccination center immediately and pick up his glasses.

It could have been me!

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Sounds like myself after the first time I had those drops put in my eyes for an eye exam.  Walked out and since it was breakfast and I had not eaten I went to a diner close by. The waitress gave me a menu and walked away to get my coffee. Opened it up and couldn't read a word, everything was just a blur.

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Been there done that!

When I do end up in a restaurant for a brekkie and can't read the menu, I fall back on my go to meal. Steak & eggs!!!! Medium on the steak and over-easy for the eggs.  Even if the steak is tough, it's usually thin enough that it can be chewed through. LOL And I only have half my teeth!!!LOL

Dan.

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So I woke up and my dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. 😢 I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff but I heard some animals play dead when they are afraid but I couldn't remember which ones. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages in their back yard then I ZOOMED back home. (Don't judge me 😒) Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming so I go out and ask them what's wrong? They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage. 😳

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Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)..
 
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead 
chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.
 
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
 
American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.
 
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.
 
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken shot out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..
 
The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.
 
You're going to love this....


Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:    "First ... defrost the chicken"

 

HH

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