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misfish

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Ordering pizza in our new world
 
 
CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: 
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:  
I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.

GOOGLE:  
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:  
OK.  I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:  
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:  
OK! That’s what I want ...

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:  
What? I detest vegetable pizza!

GOOGLE:  
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:  
How the hell do you know!

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.  We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased abox of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:  
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:  
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:  
I paid in cash!

GOOGLE:  
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:  
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:  
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:  
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
 
GOOGLE:    
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...
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  • 2 weeks later...
5 hours ago, dave524 said:

It's here now , watch your pop up ads, I always know what my wife is shopping for , must work on your IP address

I get no popups, I use popup blockers, adblock, script blockers and always use a vpn for the last few years now so my IP addy could be from anywhere in the world. I also don't ever use google as my search engine anymore with their censoring of search results among other things.

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Yeah we're being tracked after being on line checking things we might be interested in. Amazon has to be one of the worst. Look at something and then I get several emails showing that same type of item from different suppliers. 

Dan.

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2 hours ago, DanD said:

Yeah we're being tracked after being on line checking things we might be interested in. Amazon has to be one of the worst. Look at something and then I get several emails showing that same type of item from different suppliers. 

Dan.

Get yourself a VPN, they're not just for businesses. All your data is encrypted and encapsulated and you can appear to be from servers all over the world so geographic boundaries can be bypassed. They are a must if you want to do any torrenting. Most the top rated rated providers also keep no logs whatsoever so your privacy while traveling the web is assured. I just signed up with CyberGhost for $2.25/mo for the next 3 years on a promo after being with PIA for the last few years. That covers up to 7 devices so you know that your phone data is secure as well. Can't get better value for your internet security.

Edited by smitty55
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