NF - Wednesday humour

[John Bacon]

Roman’s garage burned down and his wife, Tessa, called the insurance company.

Tessa spoke to the insurance officer and said, “We had that garage insured for sixty thousand, and I want my money.”

The officer answered, “Hold on there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new garage of similar worth.”

There was a long quiet pause, and then Tessa answered, “If that’s how insurance works, then I want to cancel the life insurance certificate on my husband.”

Edited April 4, 2018 by John Bacon

[AKRISONER]

lmao im gonna have to tell this one to my parents

 

...how do we not have a joke thread on this forum...this is my favourite one from late..a classic little johnny joke.

 

Little Johnny's next door neighbours had a newborn baby that was born without ears. The neighbor's invited Johnny's family over for dinner and to meet the new baby. Prior to leaving the house Johnny's father pulled Johnny aside and warned him that if he even so mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears that he would get the lickin of a life time. 

Johnny obliged

Upon arriving at the house everyone gathered around to admire the new baby. Johnny piped up and stated "wow what a beatiful little baby, how much did he weigh?"

The mother replied "a perfectly healthy 6lbs 14oz"

Johnny said, "perfect...and look at his cute little feet, hes so cute isnt he?"

The mother once again replied "yes hes our cute little ball of love"

Johnny then inquired "he has such beautiful blue eyes, is his vision expected to be ok?"

The mother replied, "the doctor thinks he will have 20-20 vision"

Johnny blurted "well that's excellent news because if he needed glasses hed be f-ked"

Edited April 4, 2018 by AKRISONER

[John Bacon]

1 hour ago, AKRISONER said:

lmao im gonna have to tell this one to my parents

There is another version...

Eugene Melnicks’s garage burned down. 

Eugene called the insurance company and spoke to the insurance officer and said, “I had that garage insured for sixty thousand, and I want my money.”

The officer answered, “Hold on there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new garage of similar worth.”

There was a long quiet pause, and then Eugene answered, “If that’s how insurance works, then I want to cancel the policy on my hockey team.”

[Cast-Away]

Great jokes guys, love the little Johnny one, already told it twice today!