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What would you do??


dhickey
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Last long weekend I went up to the usual spot with life long friends.

Go out fishing with the husband of one of my "life long friends" and he decides to bring his son. Ok no problem...

 

His son is fishing with a rod and reel that I couldn't find.

I searched high and low for it.?

 

To make a long story short.

IT'S MY ROD AND REAL......NO QUESTION ...

 

The rod is a Shimano Clarus and a good Mitchel reel 180$(rod/reel)

 

That's the facts.

Short version.

 

 

So out in the boat I commented on the rod saying that its a good rod for the money.

He tells me that they bought it for their daughter???

 

Here's the kicker.

He doesn't own any thing worth more than 60$ rod & reel combined??

His daughter doesn't even like fishing?? 180$?

 

WHAT DO I DO?? :dunno:

 

 

I want the reel back...

 

Could I live without the rod & reel.

Sure.

 

But it's mine and that's what bug's me..

 

Don.

Edited by saltydawg
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He tells me that they bought it for their daughter??

 

If your 100% sure it's yours.

 

So he is confused or a liar. If confused maybe you can gently help him see that it's your rod.

If a liar he will stick to his guns and you ain't getting it back. Plus he will be telling everyone your a tool.

 

Get it back if you can. Might as well bring it up with your life long friend. It may ruin your life long friend ship but you don't need that Bull anyway.

Edited by glen
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Tough call, if you could get it back without him noticing then that would be the route I'd be taking, if not then I would do as suggested above and suggest that it's the exact setup that went missing on you without trying to point fingers and come across as it might have been an honest mistake on his part, might be kind of hard considering he's committed to saying he purchased it already though! hopefully it all works out in the end good luck!

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Is it possible that someone else stole it from you and he bought it "second hand"? Maybe do some more digging... If he said he bought it from someone, what I said is a possibility, if he said he bought it from some retailer, then your instinct is likely right.

 

I don't think stealing it back is the right answer, you become guilty too and for $180 I wouldn't want that hanging over my head, friend or no friend.

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goodbye. in the long run walk away. ..... if he,s a true friend that would have never happened to begin with..its called a life experience....sadly

Yep...X2.

 

UNLESS you have sometimers....like I do. Meaning sometimes I give things away and forget. Just happened recently. A buddy at work thanked me again for the old chainsaw I gave him. Hadn't used it for years and gave it to him cause he needed one. Totally forgot about it.

Edited by crappieperchhunter
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I had a very good friend who stiffed me for $75 one time and even when I asked him about the money he refused to pay it back which to me is the same as stealing.

 

I walked away from the friendship and never spoke to or saw him again and figured it was his loss.

 

Friends don't steal from friends.

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Tough call....1st and absolute foremost--I would think one must be sure this did indeed happen---absolutely 200% certain---no doubt---otherwise you may not come out of this looking so swell

 

Me---as I get older I rely more on my wife to jog my memory---Are you sure you did'nt misplace it---I tend to do this occasionally in a hurry

 

And if it's beyond any doubt he did lift it------why would you wish to associate with someone who would steal from you?

 

Trust is earned in any relationship----hard to give-----must be maintained

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Would your "friend" have had access to the rod and reel to enable him to take it? I'm just trying to close the loop on the probability that you are correct in your suspicion.

 

When I was in college, I used to shoot quite a bit. I had a Browning 12 gauge, a .222 cal Remington 700 with a good Weaver scope, and a lever action Marlin 22. After I married, my wife didn't want the guns in the house (I know, I know....but I was still in love, or a wuss, at the time) so I left them at our old house with my mom. With a career going and kids, I never shot guns again for 20 years. One day, I decided to get them, (screw the old bag). An exhaustive search of my mom's house resulted in no guns. At that time, my mom was in the early stages of Alzheimers so she really couldn't help. I find out later that my mom, thinking the Browning and the Marlin were my deceased brother's guns, gave them to my brother in law some years before. I was very pissed, and my brother in law readily offered to give both back. After cooling off, I took the Marlin for critters at my cabin, and left him the shotgun as I had no interest in duck or pheasant hunting. I also knew I could use it on a hunt if I wanted. A few years later, I am at one of my nephews home to see his new baby, and I look thru his gun rack....lo and behold, there is the Remington 222, with Weaver scope. My Irish blood immediately boiled and I asked where he got this....as it was MY gun. He said he bought it from another of my nephews....the same nephew who I had sold a boat to a few years before. The same nephew who had stopped making payments on the boat due to hard times. However, I later find he sold the boat, never told me, and never made any more payments. So, he had struck again with the Remington. We had a little talk about that, and I recovered some of what was owed. I did not ask my other nephew for the gun back. Hard to believe family and "Friends" will act as such.

 

In any case, if you think your "friend" had the access to the rod and reel to take it, then I think you have closed the loop . He is not your friend. Confront him, get the gear back, and turn your back for good.

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There is no way short of you having engraved the items, to prove that the rod and reel is yours. If you believe this lifelong friend could steal from you, and did steal from you then move on and don't associate with him. Accusing him may make waves with other involved friends and cause you more harm than good. If you really aren't sure, and believe you could be mistaken, then give him a pass and assume that he is ignorant and mistaken, and ended up with your items inadvertently and truly believes they are his. Or maybe he bought them. Life is short, and $180, while a decent sum, isn't worth going to war over. Either cut him off or move on from

It!

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Is it possible that they did purchase a rod and reel combo, and the daughter not really knowing any differently grabbed your rod by mistake one evening and it has just been assumed that is hers? I have a pile of rod combos at my cottage, and when kids are involved, the wrong ones are sometimes used or taken home at the end of the weekend. Any combos laying around that you don't recognize?

 

Dan

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Brutal to hear...

If lifelong friend, who is just short cash, you should decide if the friendship is worth more or less than $180... if he actually took it - companies always make more than one - did he know you were missing it? that's the other thing to ask.

I'm a straight-up type of person so I would have flat out said "That's the rod and reel that went missing and I've been searching for" and the cards would be on the table at that point.

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I think it should be clarified that the sketchy dude was the husband of the long time friend. So is it worth mentioning to your friend that her husband has what appears to be your rod set up ?

 

I'd let it go and never deal with him again and just stick to her friendship and hopefully she'll understand why you don't want to see her husband. ever.

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I had a very good friend who stiffed me for $75 one time and even when I asked him about the money he refused to pay it back which to me is the same as stealing.

 

I walked away from the friendship and never spoke to or saw him again and figured it was his loss.

 

Friends don't steal from friends.

 

 

Exactly!! I'd call him out on it.

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Well, first of all, that sort of thing hurts no matter how it plays out.

 

I think I would try to resolve it tactfully. I would ask who they purchased it from because yours was stolen and you know this was yours. Tell them you are going to report it to the police and need the information so they can go after the thief and lay charges!

 

Either they are going to give up the name (if they did in fact buy it from someone in which case they really have not done anything wrong) or they are going to try to bullspit you and you will have your answer.

 

Life long friendships are a treasure, it would be ashamed to see one ruined if it isn't necessary.

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I suppose you could ask him where he got it, how much he paid for it etc ( or ask his daughter who should remember being given the rod) and state yours was stolen and you were looking to replace it......watch for a reaction.

I know it is "only" a fishing rod vs. longtime friendships but the principal of it is that long time friends are just that because we trust and rely on them. Being the husband of the friend just makes it worse in so many ways though.

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I wouldn't assume he stole it. Is there any chance it was just mixed up with his daughter's rod and they didn't know any better? I have a rod in my garage that isn't mine, and I have no idea who owns it. I certainly didn't steal it....expect it was left there by a friend after a trip. I don't use it (assume someone will recognize and claim it one day), but a kid may not know the difference.

Either way, I would do is send him a note or email saying something along the lines of:

"I didn't want to mention this in the boat with your son, but I'm 90% sure the rod he was using was one I had misplaced a while ago. Is there any chance you or your daughter mixed it up with hers? If you look up that model online you'll find it's likely not the one you bought for $60".

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