muskymatt Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Cmon get a grip. fishing is not the problem. tone it down a bit and spend time with your children I did. worked out great They love camping and fishing .. they both want to go out before thxgvng and thxgvngng..././ $$$$ yikes Gotta agree, I fish, my kids fish and my wife fishes, and they all have fun doing it. Fishing is a healthy sport, you get outside, fresh air and appreciate nice scenery. Good things happen like family bonding, appreciation for nature and the outdoors, responsibilty and more, too many benifits to list. It's a lifestyle, let it become part of what your children and family are about and you grow and benifit all along the way. oh and the key ingredient....moderation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimace Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 I fish, my wife doesn't. We have a kid, there are no quarrels. I know instinctively where the line is. I do not cross it. If you are having troubles trying to figure out what is acceptable and what us going overboard is then you should make a schedule ( I fish once a month ) type of thing. If you inherently know where the line is and cross it repeatedly then the problem is not fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cudz Posted September 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Cmon get a grip. fishing is not the problem. tone it down a bit and spend time with your children I did. worked out great They love camping and fishing .. they both want to go out before thxgvng and thxgvngng..././ $$$$ yikes My friend, I spend more time than you can imagine with my children. Because of my job I am able to have that opportunity. THis is not the issue. WHen I do go fishing I do so mainly when they are asleep. I actually don't fish that much (at the most twice a week, but usually only once a week for about 4 hours). Probably less than lots of people here. The problem is that my demeanor. I don't fish that much but really want to. It might not make sense to you but if it is not an option anymore I won't be angry that I can't be doing it. Basically if it doesn't exist I won't crave it. It is difficult to explain but if the temptation is constantly there it will be all I think about, therefore I remove it. I know for most it does not make sense but unfortunately this is how I work. When I am interested in something I don't do it at 50%. At this point in my life I need to be with my kids and wife. To each their own but for me this is how it is going to be. Hopefully the fish will still be there when I get back. I guess I had better erase a bunch of waypoint on the gps before I sell it. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highdrifter Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 That's gotta be tough.. I was almost married once.. Couldn't go through with it. Just couldn't give up my time on the water.. Big ups though dude for choosing what's important; being there for your kids. I respect that very much. All the best. Come back soon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singingdog Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Tough decision, but sounds like you have given it lots of thought. Blessings to you and your family. Thanks for being one of the good guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handlebarz Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Good luck with the family I hope things are better for ya I always enjoyed the posts from you just remember we will be here in 5 years consider this your FA meeting place. Maybe the mods can make a separate section just for non fishing posts so guys who are addicted to the board can still enjoy it with no fishing content For the guys and girls who have a love of your life that does not enjoy your obsession to fishing let this be a lesson that you will also need to make this choice down the road as it will never work out if they don't enjoy the time on the water with you or in my case the time your gone away. If you have kids or are planning to have kids get them out fishing and camping at the earliest age as they will be brain washed into LOVING fishing and camping this will save you from meeting this same fate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitespinnerbait Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Maybe the mods can make a separate section just for non fishing posts There already is a Non Fishing Section on OFC........Its in the Fishing Forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 My friend, I spend more time than you can imagine with my children. Because of my job I am able to have that opportunity. THis is not the issue. WHen I do go fishing I do so mainly when they are asleep. I actually don't fish that much (at the most twice a week, but usually only once a week for about 4 hours). Probably less than lots of people here. The problem is that my demeanor. I don't fish that much but really want to. It might not make sense to you but if it is not an option anymore I won't be angry that I can't be doing it. Basically if it doesn't exist I won't crave it. It is difficult to explain but if the temptation is constantly there it will be all I think about, therefore I remove it. I know for most it does not make sense but unfortunately this is how I work. When I am interested in something I don't do it at 50%. At this point in my life I need to be with my kids and wife. To each their own but for me this is how it is going to be. Hopefully the fish will still be there when I get back. I guess I had better erase a bunch of waypoint on the gps before I sell it. lol I hear ya, I have a good friend who has the same personality. 100%, there is nothing in between, it's hard to understand for people who do not live with it. Good luck, there will be lots of fish left for you when you get a chance to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJQ Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Ive let go of couple things that were interfering with a better life this summer as well. It aint easy, but if its bad enough to see you'll be better off.. well, thats the way the tree falls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crappieperchhunter Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Cudz, totally understand and respect your decision. Fishing is a passion that my young family and wife never shared. I pretty much gave it up for 10-12 years. Once the kids started to hang with friends and not require constant adult supervision/attention I started to get back into it again. Just got back from the cottage and fished for 3 hours yesterday with my son. Thats twice this summer and I can honestly say we never fished twice in a summer together before. He is 22 now and on his own so it's more about one on one father and son time then fishing...but we both enjoy it. My wife was in the boat 3 times this summer as well. That has never happened before either. I guess I'm just trying to say that if you take care of your family then they will eventually understand your passion for fishing and want to share time on the water with you because they want to be with you. If they actually end up sharing your passion that's just a bonus. I could not be happier with how it has worked out for me. I wish you the same outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyb Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) Wow, that's pretty heavy. I understand the frustration of feeling like you don't get enough time out there, but, luckily, I can usually temper that and be happy with the time I do get out. Good on you for knowing what you have to do, and being a man about it. I still don't know about selling all your stuff....but....if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. It comes through in many of your posts that you love your family, and the extra time and attention you're giving them now will most definitely pay off. All the best, Cudz. Edited September 6, 2011 by johnnyb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitbyboatguy Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) Cudz, I think I understand. Family is part of it but that is not the conflict. Fishing is not a bad thing but it is for you, some people may not understand that. Keep listening to yourself, wife and close non-fishing fiend friends. Other people have problems with other things: Internet Food Alcohol OCD Exercise Watching sports (I think this is the closest one to you) You are self aware and recognize the issue, hopefully one day it gets figured out.....aging and loss of testosterone etc....I am no psychologist. If it doesn't there are still enough things in the world to fill 10+ lifetimes with activities. Good luck! Edited September 6, 2011 by whitbyboatguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallyboss Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Cudz nobody else but you can make that decision. Between you and me FAMILY is quite a good Addiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbuck Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Good luck to you!!! You gotta do what you gotta do. Family is always first. My girls aged 6 and 5 love to come out on the boat with daddy to fish. I don't drop a line when they are fishing. I let them have fun and in turn, I have a blast. One day, you'll have the time to do what you want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cityfisher Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 I know the feeling and i Only have a wife:) If i had three kids it would be hard to balance..my fishing/hunting addiction... I guess maintaining the balance is key IF possible.. if not then family comes first sell the boat and come on my boat one day... Problem solved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillM Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) Chris, tough decision man. Don't be a stranger though, you know where I live Edited September 6, 2011 by BillM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatpelkey Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 your one dedicated person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickeral eater Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 I know we have never chatted, however, I had addiction problems in past and understand where you are coming from. I would like to commend you on your decision to leave the sport. I wish you and family best of luck. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motion Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hey Chris, hang in there. I gave up fishing for over 10 year after I was first married to spend more time with my family. They are only young once and that was my priority at that time. Funny thing happened though, my son loves fishing now more that I did at his age and my oldest daughters still love to pick up a rod when we are up at our cottage. Take care of your family. You are yonge and have may years of fishing ahead of you if you choose to "come back". Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulyPops Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 I'm new here so I'll call this my virgin psot.. but I have to say something here. First off its brave of you to admit such a thing. I was addicted to gambling in my 30s and had a real problem with that. I did what you are attempting and quit cold turkey. whenever I was around my wife and kids I would get annyed and want to get back to the card games. Addicting is the problem not fishing. There are plenty of support groups for this too which I highly recommend. Dont sell your boat if the family likes boating, but if its going to be a problem for you in the meantime its probably a good idea. Once you are away from fishing for a season you can focus on the addiction. If you have a handle on it (find your not obsessed with it) you can go back to putting the time limits on yourself! You know fish with a buddy who you know wont keep you out and also understands your problem. In the meantime you are doing the right thing remember fix your addiction first then reward yourself with the fishing later. Good luck man! Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookslav Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Best of luck bud, Thats a very tough call to make but it sounds like you've made a call that will work for you. I'm in that stage of life trying to balance my Recreational love for Fishing, a demanding career, and family Life(married with 3 young children.) Its not easy, and the minute one is out of balance the others suffer...its a fine line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lplp Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 I agree with you to a certain point, giving up fishing ,I dont think you should, do you have other hobbies that you can occupy yourself at home. You will resent your family ,yes get rid of the boat , as the kids get older they will start to like fishing .You need to balance your family life and your own enjoyment ,if fishing was an escape for you ,and you enjoy it ,that is your decision , if you would like to go, . Trust me on this ,i have been going through quite a bit of turmoil at home for past year or so , you need to look after yourself and be happy ,this will in turn produce a good family life also,, If you think it is an addiction like ocd or something ,which could quite be ,see your dr. and ask him about it,, you can balance it if you recognize it for yourself ,you can only help yourself ,and noone should try to change someone else's likes ,(if bad yes but fishing ,sorry not).Just my two cents worth.. dont take the wrong way , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cudz Posted September 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) I agree with you to a certain point, giving up fishing ,I dont think you should, do you have other hobbies that you can occupy yourself at home. You will resent your family ,yes get rid of the boat , as the kids get older they will start to like fishing .You need to balance your family life and your own enjoyment ,if fishing was an escape for you ,and you enjoy it ,that is your decision , if you would like to go, . Trust me on this ,i have been going through quite a bit of turmoil at home for past year or so , you need to look after yourself and be happy ,this will in turn produce a good family life also,, If you think it is an addiction like ocd or something ,which could quite be ,see your dr. and ask him about it,, you can balance it if you recognize it for yourself ,you can only help yourself ,and noone should try to change someone else's likes ,(if bad yes but fishing ,sorry not).Just my two cents worth.. dont take the wrong way , Since making the decision I feel a weight has actually been lifted off my shoulder and I think I have been a kinder person since. I still love fishing and I do think about it but so far so good. I feel bad for some of my friends that I have introduced to fishing and who often depend on me to get excursions organized and do not have boats of their own. I am encouraging them to keep fishing and that I will be back in a while to do it with them. I still think fishing is a great passtime and hobby! I have got lots of hobbies to keep me busy. I work out at the gym quite a bit and have been for the past 24 years or so. I am also going to run a marathon this upcoming year for my 40th bday. I will run more. My runs in the morning are only 40 mins long and before the kids get up and I don't like running at all but do it to get ready for may next year. I also have an interest in cars and really enjoyed the time I spent with BillM out on the water talking cars. I might get a car eventually and spend a bit of time in the garage. We'll see (maybe I can convince my 68 year old dad to give me his vette). I don't have ocd and for 8 years I did not fish too much only like once a month maybe and during that time I never had any other hobby that took up as much 'mindspace' as fishing did to me as of last week. I did however play many sports before getting married and was out with them for 5 night a week. That was soon down to once a week after first child. Anyway, I still feel good about my decision and I will miss it for sure but for now, removing the fishing option has made me a better dad, husband and probably person. Thanks for all the PMs and I hope to see you guys on the water in a few years. Edited September 11, 2011 by Cudz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillM Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Chris, I just got a Goodlife membership! If you ever need a workout partner let me know. It was also great to talk to someone about cars that got as excited about them as I did Like I said before, don't be a stranger. You've got my cell/address. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckrb2007 Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) You're a great father and husband to make that tough decision. I think I'm going to give my wife a big hug and kiss and say thanks to her for putting up with and supporting my 4 season "addiction". I'm a lucky guy to have a wife and 2 boys who totally love the out of doors. Both boys enjoy fishing, the youngest and bit more then the oldest, but my 19 yr old has a few priorities now as did we all at that age. My wife isn't much for actually fishing, but she will and has on several occasion just sat in the boat, in the ice hut, or on the side of a bank just to be outside. Do what you need to do but make sure you never totally give up this great passion we all call fishing! Colin Edited September 12, 2011 by ckrb2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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