HoughTheFisherman

I had a fishing buddy Scott and we sure fished a lot. Our fishing did halt but it was none his fault. My dog had just died and for weeks I had cried. It was a bit of a rough ride so I made excuses to hide. See I had lost all my pride so from friends I had shied. That being said..... I've had a bit of a rough life but not as rough as my dear old wife. You see they wouldn't let my missus on the ride at the fair. Sun of gun told me it's cause she's five foot square. Well enough about Hough! You came here to read fishn' stuff So let me tell me something to you It's about ice fishn' with Lew. My grandpaps used to get dickerd on rye. Then the stories about fishing they started to fly He told me bout these big cats they used to call mudeye Caught them on top of a mountain up high. Even showed them pictures to me, my oh my! I got a little something I'd like to share I once bought something from a guy named Jer. It was a horse that he told me was a mare. Looked under the hair and saw little something extra there. It turned out.... The darn thing was bear! So when my buddy said Hough the the trout fishn' has been tuff. I grabbed him by the scruff and said enough is enough. To hell with those trout we'll going fishn' mudpout. I'll take you to the lake that grandpaps told us all about. So we loaded the underwater camera and fish radar-sonar-jammer. Jumped in the truck and put down the hammer Hope your keeping up, my momma says I've got a bit of a stammer. But as long as you do I'll continue to yammer. Like about that time I dated this girl from the Hammer. The girl was straight out the slammer. If she was any hotter it would have melt her. Turned out she worked at the smelter. img bb We got to the lake and set up near a quarter past two. I said watch this Lew as hooked on a big dew. The worm made a squirm but was stuck on there firm. I lowered it down deep next to an underwater berm. My lure dropped in the mud with a fish calln' thud. I stirred it around and kicked up a couple scud from the crud. I knew this would surely call in a big stud. Now all I had to do was sit back and wait for the tug. Although the tug is the drug nothing beats a good ol' fish hug. I once dated a girl with blue eyes and I sure hope my doctor tells me lies. Because of her he says its like I slept with a hundred guys. Whoops! Were was I, ah yes we were fishn' mudeyes. The sonar flasher was purring like my cat I named Irving. Turned out the night crawlers weren't the only thing stirring.. Lew was outside the hut writing his name in the snow with his urine. Did I ever tell you bout the time I tried learnin' I believe its something that they called french immersion. All my words came out like I was into the bourbon, so decided to move on to this other one called german. Turns out for this fella speaking is a bit of a burdan. The first fish up the hole stared at us like some under water mole or vole. Lew clubbed him between the wiskers and it made his eyes roll. A couple more fish and we'd be close to our goal So I set up my pole over an 100 foot shoal. My lure dropped to the bottom like it was weighted with coal. I packed in my mouth a big wad of mint Skoal. When all of a sudden there was a commotion at Lew's hole. It turns out Lew had set the gears into a tank. It was a big ol cat and Lew was struggling to crank. His rod bent over like he had hooked the river bank And I didn't think he'd get it to hole if I was gonna be frank. Then the line went slack and my old beat up heart sank. That's when Lew dove his arm down deep into the drank. Well he grabbed that fish by the gums and he gave it a yank. Out of that hole came a big fat and greasy two foot plank. He held it up high and the fish gods he did thank. Then some random youngster yelled out "Yo that fish is dank!" After that Lew picked up his club and gave it a spank.

Not to sure what to do, got this buddy that calls me Hugh. See this fella's not to smart, just a regular old country fart. I told him listen here Stu, let me tell me something to you. You never date a women who's cross eyed, cause she might be seeing someone on the side.

I'm surprised that no one's huffing bout Hough. For me spelling is something that's tuff. Might have something to do with that stuff that I puff.

Sorry Fisherman those fillets are all mine and headed straight for the brine. Next time on the lake I might save you a splake. I thank all for their replies, without them this post dies and is left for the flies. Were all going through rough times, so join in with your "Houghmor" and rhymes. Throw in a couple lines and lets hear it, its sure to lift someone's spirit.

Hi my name is Fisherman Hough and troutn is something I do! I use to meet the boys for a few but now I just go home n eat stew. Most would say I'm dumber than goo but let me tell me somethin' to you. Although I took a chunk of wood to the head, somehow I didnt get dead, just thought my name Fred or was it Ted or maybe Ned. Well enough about Jed cause I got a story bout trouts that need to be fed. There's ice on them back lakes is the word on the street. Folks say the ice is at least a couple inches or two deep. Well that news had me out the front door, faster then my ex who was a bit of Horror. I put the pedal to the metal cause me and some splake had a score to settle. Now I ain't no chump I know these trout like to hang out by a hump or a stump. Wearing a fur hat like my buddy the Russian, drilled a hole in the ice and the water was gushin'. That cold north wind had me blushin' like that time on the dogsled I was mushin'. Wait a minute, I seemed to have drifted off and started talking bout nushin'. Dropped my line in the hole and my rod was a throbbin', my lure was bobbin'. Looked down the hole and seen a flash near bottom it was a big ol' slobbn' Greedy bugger took a swipe at my lure and I damn near got'm. This silver bullet was playing tricks with my noggn'. Heart was ticking like that time I tried joggin'. Well he finally opened his yap and succumed to my trap. Took my chrome to the dome. Now this beauty's coming home. I stayed by that tree and ended the day with just three. Well there you have it the names Fisherman Hough. I can fix wood with glue and been known catch a couple fish or a few.